HE'S SO OLD HE FARTS BEACH MUSIC
DISC ONE
1. "He’s So Old He Farts Beach Music!" [Entering the Embers tour bus at the Muscadine Festival in Kenansville, NC, 9/29/07]
2. The Honeydripper, Part One [excerpt] - Joe Liggins and The Honeydrippers (1945)
questions by authors, laugh by ‘Fessa John Hook, answer by Marion Carter
The obscure groove of this song really makes it shine, in my opinion. Perhaps it has to with the peculiar beat emphasis in Liggins’ introductory piano work; it isn’t until almost the one-minute mark that it’s made clear where the drums are going to come in. That’s always a nice touch. “The Honeydripper” sold over two million copies and was reportedly bootlegged by the Mob for their jukeboxes.
I’ve got a weak spot for any theme song named after the performer or band, particularly when both are this dirty-sounding. Apparently I’m not alone—this one topped the U.S. “Race Records” charts for 18 months, from Sept. 1945 through Jan. 1946.
3. Down the Road Apiece - Amos Milburn (1947)
“Say boy, where you goin’ when I saw you goin’ down the street the other night?
I wasn’t goin’ nowhere, I’d been where I was goin’.
You know, I’d sure like to latch onto some of that good boogie-woogie tonight.
You mean some of that fat boogie?
That’s what I mean.
Well that’s what I mean.”
Is this an interior dialogue, or is Amos playing two separate parts? I like thinking of him talking to himself as he wanders down the road to the party.
That chord suspension at 1:52 and subsequent heavenly resolution at 2:06 is better than chicken-fried bacon grease.
4. Drinkin’ Wine Spo-Dee-O-Dee - Sticks McGhee (1947)
commentary by ‘Fessa John Hook
Later reconstituted, arguably less effectively, by Jim Dickinson as “Wine.” He omitted the crucial ‘motherfucker’ euphemism. I agree with Sticks (Brownie’s brother) on every count here except that “when you buy sherry…you’re doing things smart.”
No one shouts “Hoy Hoy” anymore, but it was a vocal fad in the late 1940’s. Drinkin’ wine, however, has never gone out of style—and the sweet, cheap wines Sticks lists are still popular in the Carolinas, as we discovered at the Muscadine Festival.
5. I Ain’t Drunk - Lonnie the Cat (1950?)
A continuation of our boozing theme (“I don’t care what the people thinkin’”):
“I ain’t drunk, I’m just drinkin’
Aw no, honey, I ain’t high at all!”
I don’t know much about Lonnie. But I do know that Michael Hurley really digs this, the tune and the sentiment. Who can blame him?
6. You Better Leave Married Women Alone - Jimmy Cavallo (1951)
Commentary by Jimmy Cavallo
Good advice. Jimmy Cavallo penned this tune, the B side to the “Rock This Joint” 45, by many accounts the first (white) rock and roll platter ever recorded, before Bill Haley and all that Memphis mess too. The furious gale force of that honking sax solo is hard to resist.
7. Mama He Treats Your Daughter Mean - Ruth Brown (1953)
Female artists are sadly marginalized in the Beach Music canon and scene – “what’s the matter with this man?” indeed – but we had to include this one. The adorable squeak she lets out at the end of each line manages to telegraph toughness and desperation simultaneously. Brown was one of the singers a young Jimmy Cavallo checked out in the “Sepia Collection” of record stores.
8. I Want My Fanny Brown - Wynonie Harris (1948)
commentary by Jimmy Cavallo
"Anybody here seen Miss Fanny Brown?
Well, has anybody here seen Miss Fanny Brown?
She ain’t so good looking but she lays that lovin’ down."
Roy Brown recorded it earlier, but this number has always been associated with Wynonie and later with Jimmy Cavallo too.
Harris here contributes a significant lyric to the Ugly Woman Song Canon that ultimately culminated with Jimmy Soul’s 1963 tune “If You Wanna Be Happy,” which advises, “If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life/Never make a pretty woman your wife/So from my personal point of view/Get an ugly girl to marry you.” Jefferson Currie is an outspoken fan of this song.
9. I’m Shakin' - Little Willie John (1959)
commentary by Jimmy Cavallo
“I’m noyvess.” This song never fails to raise “chill bumps” (as Arthur Alexander might say). There’s something about the way Willie’s singing works against the horn lines and drum fills that is just unrepentantly, gloriously funky, and more than a little ominous in light of what became of him.
Somehow spooky and sexy at once, “I’m Shakin’” never fails to get the ladies dancing. This might be my girlfriend Samantha’s favorite song of all time. If I played it on loop she would shake it until she collapsed.
10. I Got Loaded - Lil Bob and The Lollipops (1966)
commentary by ‘Fessa John Hook
The roads through Beach Music often point towards Louisiana- specifically New Orleans and Lafayette. Lil Bob’s “I Got Loaded,” in my opinion, is one of the great song celebrations of inebriation. If you listen closely, you can hear the squeak of the kick-drum pedal, which is one of the most beautiful sounds in the world as well as the bane of most recording engineers’ existences.
In Shane Bernard’s book Swamp Pop: Cajun and Creole Rhythm and Blues, Lil Bob recalls that, “In ’57 a guy by the name of Gabriel King, he was my lead tenor man in the band…He kissed a white woman in the back of the Rendezvous Club [in Ville Platte] and they gave him one year [in jail]. Well, the woman loved him, he loved her, none of them was married and he kissed her and somebody spotted it and went to court. And we went to court, man, the courthouse was on fire. Man, they was hollering ‘Hang him! Hang him! Hang him! Hang him!’ And he was sitting there just as cool- and they gave him a year, just for kissing.”
11. A Quiet Place - Garnett Mimms & the Enchanters (1964)
Coming up in Philly during the reign of Solomon Burke, the King of Rock ‘n’ Soul, Mimms’ sound staked out a quiet place in comparison, although both artists drew heavily from their gospel roots. Janis Joplin was enchanted with Garnett – she covered both “Cry Baby” and “My Baby,” catapulting her caterwauling versions past Mimms’ modest successes. Mimms found Jesus and retired from the music business in the late 1970’s, just as Beach Music started to dry up. The million-dollar questions: who and where is Johnny Dollar?
12. It Will Stand - The Showmen (1961)
commentary by General Norman Johnson
Johnson claims that, despite the numerous awards (including a Grammy) and widespread success he’s achieved over the course of his career, this is the most important song he ever wrote. A natural anthem, “It Will Stand” eventually became so associated with the scene, they named a Beach Music magazine after it.
13. 39-21-40-Shape - The Showmen (1961)
commentary by General Norman Johnson
Imagine, if you will, what that shape would look like. Consider the beautiful, sobbing hitch in General Johnson’s voice. Curiously, the song has consistently been mislabeled as “39-21-46,” an even more preposterous shape—General Johnson thinks this was a deliberate marketing decision on the part of the label. Definitely on my short list of the most perfect pop songs ever written.
14. You’re the Boss - Jimmy Ricks and LaVern Baker (1961)
commentary by Bobby Tomlinson
Jimmy Ricks started out with the Ravens back in the late 1940’s, and he eventually joined the Count Basie Orchestra. None of which explains the spookiness of this song. Sounds like a haunted Tin Pan Alley.
15. Stay - the Zodiacs (1960)
Charles and Lil’ Redd Pope of the Tams told me that when they were starting out on the Carolina Beach Music circuit in the early 1960’s, folks warned them that this was “Maurice Williams country.” Williams was born in Lancaster, SC in 1938; he wrote the short and sweet “Stay” in 1953, at age 15. Remember Dirty Dancing? Yeah, me too.
16. You Lied To Your Daddy - The Tams (1964)
Joe Pope, original lead singer of The Tams, has a voice that makes you check your speakers for tears. They used flute riffs on a few of their early hits, and it always worked.
17. What Kind of Fool (Do You Think I Am)? - R.L. Smith & His Original Tams (2007) [live at the Muscadine Festival]
commentary by Robert Lee Smith
"If I did it then, I can do it now!
You gonna give me one more chance?
GOT TO!"
18. Have Mercy - by Don Covay (1964)
commentary by Robert Lee Smith
Rumor has it that an uncredited session man named Jimi Hendrix played on this track. Covay was a great guitarist himself, but Hendrix’s spectral presence might explain that burnished and bell-like guitar tone. The Rolling Stones covered “Have Mercy,” and you can tell that Mick was trying to emulate Covay’s swaggering croon from the get. (Speaking of Jagger, Bobby Tomlinson tells us that he was a real asshole. The Embers opened for the Stones in 1972—whoa!—and when introduced, Mick just stared at Bobby’s outstretched hand and walked away without a word or even a nod of recognition.)
19. Lipstick Traces - Benny Spellman (1962)
commentary by Bobby Tomlinson
Greil Marcus borrowed this title for his 1989 book, subtitled “A Secret History of the Twentieth Century.” Here’s some more secret history: if “Lipstick Traces” sounds suspiciously like Ernie K-Doe’s 1961 hit “Mother-in-Law,” that’s no coincidence. Fellow New Orleans musician Benny Spellman sang bass in dialogue with K-Doe’s familial (and familiar) plaint about his wife’s awful mama.
20. Te-Ta-Te-Ta-Ta - Ernie K-Doe (1962?)
Speaking of Ernie K-Doe, here’s the man himself, offering a contagiously creaky nonsense chorus. His girl likes to cha-cha-cha – who doesn’t? – but what’s up with that stutter?
I hung out with Ernie’s widow Miss Antoinette last year at the Ernie K-Doe Mother-in-Law Lounge in New Orleans. Guitar Lightning was there too. We drank Budweiser and rapped about the flood, the police, and the life-size statue of her husband, the self-proclaimed “Emperor of the Universe.”
21. Shotgun Wedding - Roy-C (1965)
Jefferson Currie tells us that Roy-C is big with the Haliwa-Saponi community in North Carolina. Almost all his material concerns some form of cheating—sometimes he’s the one doing the cheating, but usually he’s finding creative ways to punish the various men he finds in bed with his wife. My friend Otto used to work at a record store in Rochester, and he spoke to Roy himself on the phone about distribution on a regular basis. Sounds like a real character.
22. Thank You John - Willie Tee (1965)
commentary by Mike Lewis and ‘Fessa John Hook
"I want to thank you John
For being a good popcorn
You done proved yourself to me
You’re as jive as you can be"
Willie boldly struts his way through a harsh tale of punking and pimping. He went on to virtually invent the Mardi Gras Indian funk movement with The Wild Magnolias in the 1970s. When I wrote to him in early September, begging pardon for the email inbox intrusion and asking to interview him, his daughter replied, “No intrusion. Mike, my Dad passed away this morning at about 3 AM.”
23. Talking About My Baby - the Impressions (1964)
A classic. Bobby Tomlinson laughs about the days the Embers played with the Impressions early on. Back then Curtis Mayfield didn’t even sing—he was just “the fuckin’ guitar player.” But what a guitar player.
24. Fat Boy - Billy Stewart (1962)
commentary by Bobby Tomlinson, from Muscadine Festival field recordings
"Baby, here I am
You say, fat boy!
That’s me."
I love that opening organ figure and how the guitar mimics and replaces its stutter. “Fat Boy” was actually Billy Stewart’s nickname. He was a big-boned guy.
25. I Know It’s Hard But It’s Fair - the Five Royales (1959)
Hailing from Winston-Salem, NC, the Five Royales were an important group in the transition from r&b and doo-wop to rock and soul. In keeping with their regal band name, the cover of their self-titled King LP depicts the Royales’ heads superimposed on chess pieces on a board.
DISC TWO
1. I Know It’s Hard But It’s Fair - Mike Taylor of the Holiday Band (2007) [live at the Ripete Records Sampler at Duck’s, North Myrtle Beach, SOS]
commentary by General Norman Johnson and Mike Lewis
When Brendan, Samantha, Abby, and I walked into Duck’s during S.O.S., I almost immediately heard the MC talking about “my good friend Mike Taylor.” I was confused, so I went over and did my first Jello shot.
This is an example of the popular and emergent Beach Music karaoke format at its most depressing and glorious. It’s also another example of how stupid and unreliable the CD format is. The emcee is DJ Mike Lewis. “I know it’s hard to grow hair!”
2. Barefootin’ - Robert Parker (1966)
I heard this song for the first time while driving down Ocean Drive in North Myrtle Beach at sunset, and thought it was the greatest thing I’d ever heard. Robert Parker, where are you?
3. Money Honey - the Drifters (1953)
Commentary by Gen. Johnson
I love Elvis as much as the next guy (and maybe more), but his version has nothing on this’un. Clyde McPhatter came from Northside Creedmoor, NC, of all places.
In a related financial anecdote, General Johnson told us when Sam Cooke switched from sacred to secular worlds, “a lot of people thought he was going to get struck be lightning. Instead he got struck by money!”
4. Motha Goose Breaks Loose - the Mighty Hannibal (1960)
Fierce and weird. A pimp and an eccentric performer fond of donning a turban, Hannibal knew everybody in the early soul world. The drummer really tears it up on the breaks.
5. Think Twice (X Version) - Jackie Wilson and LaVern Baker (1965)
commentary by Bobby Tomlinson
Who knew Jackie Wilson could get so nasty? I get the distinct feeling that LaVern is egging him on here, since she gets the raunchiest lines. Hearing them giggle is priceless. This song makes me blush.
6. You Better Move On - Arthur Alexander (1961)
commentary by Mike Lewis
One of the first hits out of Fame studios in Muscle Shoals. As far as I’m concerned, singer and songwriter Arthur Alexander could do no wrong. He never blew up, but every single was masterful, a faceted gem. This one, his first hit, is particularly heartbreaking.
7. Kidnapper - Jewell and the Rubies (1963)
commentary by John Hook
On the subject of gems, this Jewell and the Rubies single is the only love song I know that implicates a hostage situation, extortion, and the FBI.
8. Stagger Lee - the Youngbloods (1971)
Of all the hundreds of versions of the badman ballad “Stagger Lee” aka “Stagolee” aka “Stackalee”—possibly descended from an African American toast about a St. Louis pimp with a magical white Stetson—this remains one of my favorites. (Versions by Mississippi John Hurt, Lloyd Price, and Terry Melcher fall close behind.) Sometimes the story involves Stack’s gal Stack o’ Dollars, and sometimes the Devil ends up evicting Mr. Lee from hell from raising too much – or even sodomizing old Lucifer himself.
The sanitized version is in the repertoire of every beach band worth its salt. At the Muscadine Festival, the Embers, Country Roads, and the Tams all did it.
9. She Shot a Hole In My Soul - Clifford Curry (1967)
Huey Lewis, apparently, is a big fan of Clifford Curry. As am I. A hell of a title for a tune.
10. Bad Is Bad - Huey Lewis and The News (1983)
commentary by John Hook
During my childhood, many a drive was spent in my dad’s white ’87 Thunderbird listening to Huey Lewis. Initially, I was thrilled about the chance to recontextualize Huey’s music into something a little cooler. Whether Beach Music is cooler is debatable.
11. A Mess of Blues - Delbert McClinton (1976)
commentary by John Hook
"I’ve been drinking since last Sunday
I ain’t ate a thing all day
Every day’s Blue Monday
Since you been gone away"
McClinton played harmonica on the Bruce Channel hit 1962 “Hey! Baby,” another Beach Music biggie. Then things got messy.
12. Swoop Down Jesus - The Southern Knights (featuring Bill Pinkney)
A selection from the Gospel Shag movement pioneered by DJs John Hook and Mike Lewis. Ironically, this is Bill Pinkney’s only appearance on “He’s So Old He Farts Beach Music,” and it sounds like he performed his parts laying down.
13. I Love Beach Music - The Embers (1979)
commentary by Bobby Tomlinson
Over the course of this research, this song went from a nauseating, maudlin piece of trash to my mantra. It’s also the one song that my wife Abby absolutely forbids me from singing around the house.
14. Right Arm For Your Love - Z.Z. Hill
"Bop-doo-wop
Baby I’d chop
Off my right arm for your love"
How can you argue with that couplet?
15. Myrtle Beach Days - the Fantastic Shakers (1980)
commentary by John Hook
"And I was thinking today
Those good times last year
Looking at the ladies
And drinking cold draft beer"
Deeply depressing Northern Parrothead nostalgic schlock, but I can’t get it out of my head. Picture Myrtle Beach as an island unto itself…
16. Sweet Edie-D - Terry Callier (1972)
"Oh well I fell off of Noah’s ark
I landed out in Jackson Park
I busted my g-string
I forgot what it was all a-bout"
Terry Callier, an African American folkie turned soul-poet shaman, has absolutely nothing to do with Beach Music. But this song has the perfect feel; Beach Music needs Terry Callier. From his masterpiece 1972 record Occasional Rain.
17. What You Do To Me - Carl Wilson (1984)
commentary by John Hook
Um, don’t know about this one. The ‘Fessa really digs it. According to him, this and “Kokomo” (supposedly written, incidentally, by Terry Melcher and John Phillips during a binge) are the greatest things the Beach Boys ever did.
18. Fooled Around and Fell in Love - Elvin Bishop (1975)
Another addition to the canon, submitted for your approval. The rhythm’s right, tempo a little on the slow, woozy side for all y’all pro-shaggers. A beautiful late-night, muscadine wine-cooler, last chance for a slow dance kind of number. Yacht-rock, you decry? Exactly.
19. Carolina Girls - the Chairmen of the Board (1980)
commentary by Mike Lewis
"Sweeter than candy
Hotter than heat
More precious than diamonds
Girl, you can’t be beat! Whoo!"
General Norman Johnson is a genius. But let’s not fool ourselves (having fallen in love): This is not his greatest work. But it is a staple of Beach Music and shag sets, a sort of response to “California Girls,” I guess. The song makes women shag, and men swoon. And even if it conjures UNC sorority blondes in baby-blue velour track suits emblazoned with “Carolina Girls… Best in the World!”, I can still hear a sincere yearning in Johnson’s hiccupping voice when he describes those “sweet southern pearls.”
20. Let’s Get It On - Mike Lewis (2007)
After all the interviews, concerts, crate-digging, downloading, and writing, it’s baffling that this is where we end up. DJ Mike Lewis floats a Marvin Gaye a cappella track over a Black-Eyed Peas instrumental. The results are about all we can expect from anything involving the Black-Eyed Peas.
21. “It Ain’t the Chitlin Circuit” [Mike Lewis on the Chairmen of the Board; the Chairmen of the Board on themselves]
APPENDIX: CONSULTANTS
Jimmy Cavallo: Syracuse-born saxman, singer, star of Alan Freed’s Rock Rock Rock, the first white artist ever to play the Apollo, and all-around hero and elder statesman of American music. Likely the man who invented (white) rock and roll (and accidentally, Beach Music) in 1947 while breezing through North Carolina in pursuit of a girl, long before Bill Haley, Sun Records, and that Elvis character. Now that you’ve heard of him, buy his records.
Marion Carter: Owner of Ripete Records, renowned Beach Music label based in Columbia, South Carolina. Ripete’s releases feature great tunes, and their kitschy album art epitomizes that breezy Beach Music aesthetic.
John Hook: Leading Beach Music and shag historian, theorist, author, DJ, and sage. Self-proclaimed inventor of “cowboy shag” and “gospel shag.” This project would have been impossible without his expert guidance.
General Normal Johnson, Ken Knox, and Danny Woods: Johnson is the Grammy-winning lead singer and songwriter of the Showmen and the Chairmen of the Board, both Beach Music legends. He’s written for Clarence Carter, recorded with Joey Ramone, and he’s responsible for some of the most enduring Beach Music classics, including “39-21-40-Shape,” “It Will Stand,” “Give Me Just a Little More Time,” and “Carolina Girls.” Knox and Woods are the other surviving Chairmen, gentlemen both.
Mike Lewis: Perhaps the premier Beach Music and shag DJ of the 1980’s and 90’s. Credited with playing that Delbert McClinton cut (“A Mess of Blues”) in 1980 and changing everything.
Charles and Lil’ Redd Pope: Members of the Beach Music stalwarts and Hall of Famers the Tams. Charles is the brother of deceased Tams lead singer Joe Pope, and Lil’ Redd is Charles’ son. Atlanta natives and residents, they recorded their first single, “Untie Me,” at Fame Studios in Muscle Shoals in 1962 and haven’t stopped since.
Robert Lee Smith: Original bass voice of the Tams; today he performs as R.L. Smith and His Original Tams, after a court decision split the group in two. An absolute dynamo live, and a nice guy too. That’s him on “What Kind of Fool (Do You Think I Am?).”
Bobby Tomlinson: Original bandleader and drummer of Raleigh’s the Embers, one of the best-known and most beloved white Beach Music acts. He’s full of stories about the hundreds of artists the Embers have backed up over the years. Once he ate Dennis’ birthday cake with the Beach Boys and drove around Raleigh with Carl listening to 45s on a portable record player.